Okay, so the fabulous girls who write Puck Huffers are ingenious. They make me miss my alcoholic friends from high school...
(This is word for word and if Puck Huffers reads this and wants me to take it down, just let me know and will do.)
Without further ado :
PUCK HUFFERS OFFICIAL STAAL BROTHER DRINKING GAME RULES
Drinking begins at puck drop. If there is anything during pre-game, you're just going to have to bite your tongue because you at least want to generally remember the game, don't you? Well, maybe not. It is MSG. But we kind of want to know the result without having to check NHL.com Tuesday morning.
Single shot to be taken if:
- it is mentioned that the Staals are brothers
- if it is mentioned that there are other Staals, not present, who are also in the NHL
- if a phrase such as "sibling rivalry" is used
- if it is pointed out that BOTH STAALS ARE ON THE ICE
- if anyone mentions the sod farm
- if any random facts are introduced about the present Staals or the Staal family
- if the Staal parents are mentioned
- if any Staal reference occurs that would simply not occur in a one-Staal game
Doubleshot to be taken if:
- a comparative Staal brother graphic is shown on the screen
- if they are verbally compared AT LENGTH by the announcers (use your own discretion in deciding what "length" is)
- if a video clip of the brothers/family is shown
- if an interview with a Staal brother happens at intermission (add an additional shot if the Staal brother is asked anything about playing against his brother)
- if the Staal parents are in attendance (this cancels out taking a single shot if the parents are mentioned, but not if they are mentioned separately from the fact that they are in attendance)
If you're playing an advanced version of this game, you can mix yourself a drink and keep it nearby.
You can work on the mixed drink if:
- there is an intermission feature on the Staal brothers
- there is a mention of a Staal on Staal play, such as a Staal delivering a crushing check on another Staal, or a Staal being stripped of the puck by another Staal
- if the game is over and the team you were rooting for shit its pants
Stop if you feel sick/want to stop. We will not be held responsible for any shit that happens to you playing this game. You play at your own risk, kids.
Given that I've participated in drinking games for the last two American presidential elections (and the 2006 mid-term election) it is shocking that I did not think of this. In fact, I am mildly embarrassed not to have thought of this.
Now, I'm assuming this will be MUCH more dangerous while watching Versus or ESPN than it will be on TSN of HNIC, mostly because their announcers will generally assume that we KNOW that there are four Staals, three of whom play in the NHL, and that they grew up on a sod farm. But whatever. It's still be playing next time there is a Staal vs. Staal game.